Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
