did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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