She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
