I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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