remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
