Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
