Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize