That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My breasts were aching with rage.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
