all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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