So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
