My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
