It's like God shit irony all over that family
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
