Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
