i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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