My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You've changed since you got that strap on
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
