I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
