You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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