I need help removing her.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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