I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
soo... how was my night?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize