Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
