So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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