Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
