I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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