You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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