this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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