So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want to make out with him forever
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
