You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
