We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
