He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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