she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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