he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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