any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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