dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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