im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
