I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize