Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
