pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
