I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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