she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
