Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
