wat bout pragnant strippers??
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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