Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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