covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
