when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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