This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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