ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
