one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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