The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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