Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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