it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
