Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Randomize
