I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
