I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize