i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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