What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
