Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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