You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
