remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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